The Britannian Family Fishing Trip
by Roxius
Summary: A somewhat spiritual sequel to 'Like Father, Like Son'. Charles takes his kids out on a fishing trip, much to their displeasure, and things just get worse from there on out. Seriously cracky, will be multi-chaptered. Please R & R!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass. Nor about half of Euphie's dialogue.

A/N: Oh god, this one is multi-chaptered!!! O_O

* * *

Lelouch Lamperouge did not even bother hiding the hideous scowl on his face as he sat beside his father, Charles zi Britannia, who was whistling 'Ich Will' to himself as he drove the large van along the beaten path into the forest. Sitting in the back seats were Nunnally, V.V., Euphemia, Cornelia, Clovis, Bartley (because he couldn't stand to be away from his 'Clovis-chan'), Schneizel and Odysseus. For some reason, Charles had decided to try and be a 'better father', so he was taking all his favorite children...

...on a fishing trip.

"I DON'T EVEN LIKE FISHING!!!" Clovis whined.

"YES, MASTER CLOVIS DOES NOT LIKE FISHING!!!" Bartley spoke up.

"Both of you, shut the fuck up!!" Charles snapped at the two of them, and they immediately shut their mouthes.

Glancing to the back, Lelouch asked, "Hey, what about your 103 other kids, you big pimp?!"

Charles shrugged. "Hey...you're the only guys with names that actually matter to me, so this is what ya get..."

"I wonder if we'll see any crocodiles or alligators..." Nunnally muttered to herself, the only one truly excited about the trip.

Tipping a coonskin hat over his eyes, V.V. chewed on a root of foxtail as he replied in a thick redneck accent, "Ehh, I ain't seen a single croc or ally in these here waters since my days in da bayou..."

Lelouch leaned over to his father and whispered, "Why is he talking like that...?"

"I have no idea," Charles replied, "He's been doing this since we started driving..."

"Can we throw him out on the side of the road?"

"I would...but he's carrying the keys to the house..."

"Damn..."

Clapping her hands in a rapid fashion and bouncing in her seat, Euphemia squealed, "OH, CORNELIA-ONEE-CHAN, THIS IS SO EXCITING!!! ISN'T IT EXCITING, CORNELIA-ONEE-CHAN?!! ISN'T IT?!!!"

Cornelia grunted. "Listen, Euphie-chan, I only think about MANLY things..."

"...Like my vagina?"

"Yes, like your - WAIT A MINUTE!!!"

"HA HA HA!!! GOTCHA, BITCH!!!"

Meanwhile, Odysseus was reading his newest issue of 'LOLI-MONTHLY', and Schneizel was happily playing Rayman DS while sucking on a lollipop.

Noticing the depressed expression on his youngest (of the important children, anyway) son's face, Charles asked, "Hey, Lelouchebag...what's wrong?"

Lelouch pinched the bridge of his nose, and snapped, "Dad...why are you even doing this?! NO ONE BUT YOU, V.V. AND MY MENTALLY-RETARDED LITTLE SISTER WANT TO GO ON THIS TRIP!!"

Nunnally raised her head. 'What did he just call me?'

"I just thought...you'd enjoy it..." Charles whimpered, trying hard not to start crying.

"Oh god, not again...look, just...just stop crying, and I'll...I'll stop complaining! Just stop crying, okay?!!"

Charles immediately ceased his sobbing.

Lelouch sighed. 'I'm related to a bunch of idiots...and, yes, Nunnally, I'm getting tired of you too!! Damn physically-disabled wench...I can't have a personal life with her around!!'

"How many people wanna kick some ass?! I do, I do!!"

"SHUT UP, EUPHIE!!!"

"God...this is gonna suck..." Lelouch thought.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"Wow...I can't believe you actually went through with the Knights of the Round Anniversary Picnic this year..." Luciano Bradley remarked to Bismark Waldstein as he flipped hamburgers on the grill. He wore a chef's hat and an apron to match. Close in front of him was a large, shimmering blue lake, one of the only few places not corrupted by the disgusting pollution of modernized civilization.

Bismark nodded. "Yeah, i've been wanting to do this for a while, and since the Emperor seems to be taking the day off too, I decided...why not do the same? Where are the others, anyway?"

"They all got drunk and passed out..." Luciano grunted, pointing at the nearby pile of snoozing bodies.

Bismark sighed and rolled the eyeball that wasn't stitched shut. "God...bunch of useless bastards..."

"Heh...you usually just say that about ME!" Luciano chuckled.

Bismark shrugged. "Well, you're the only one who actually likes this idea...so I appreciate that..."

"Ooh, you're so sweet, Bismark-chan-chan..."

"...What?"

Suddenly, a large van came flying out of nowhere from within the surrounding forest, and crash-landed right in front of a rather surprised Bismark, who soon realized he was going to need a new pair of pants.

The car door swung open, and none other than Charles zi Britannia hopped out, followed soon by all of his children...or at least, the children that mattered.

Falling to her knees, Euphemia scooped a handful of woodchips and animal shit into her delicate hands and cried, "GORDON FREEMAN IS NOW THESE HANDS...I MUST KILL THE NEXT BOSS, AND LIVE UP TO FULL-LIFE CONSEQUENCES!!!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!" Cornelia cried.

Schneizel gasped. "YOU'VE BEEN READING MY FANFICTION, HAVEN'T YOU?!!"

"I WANT MY DRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS..." Euphie screamed, rolling around in the dirt and giggling uncontrollably.

A warm smile suddenly formed on Cornelia's lips. "Oh yeah! I forgot that Euphie had just gotten out of rehab!!"

Luciano could do nothing but smack his palm against his face. "God...this is gonna suck..."

Somewhere in this world, a tax salesman was laughing at their despair...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass. Nor about half of Euphie's dialogue.

A/N: Later on, Luciano experiences psychotic drug-fueled love, Cornelia becomes the democratic female version of Tarzan, and Schneizel shoots razor blades out of his chest! Is this fic random or is it RANDOM?

Also, another useless OC appears...OH JOY!!!

* * *

_Where we last left off our heroes(???), a confrontation was about to take place... _

Clovis placed a piece of cardboard on top of his head, and smiled. "Does it look good on me?"

Bartley gushed at the sight of it. "Oh, you look so adorable that I could just," Bartley leaned in close and licked his lips, "RAPE YOU..."

A shiver crawled up Clovis's spine, and he quickly tossed the cardboard away.

"E-EMPEROR BRITANNIA!!!" Bismark cried after putting on a pair of short-shorts he found in Gino Weinberg's luggage, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!!"

Charles snarled menacingly. "I should be asking you that question...I'M TAKING MY FAMILY OUT ON A FISHING TRIP, BITCH!!! WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?!!"

"I'M HERE WITH THE OTHER KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND SO WE CAN HAVE THE ANNUAL PICNIC!!!"

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK...YOU GUYS ARE GAY!!" Charles cursed.

"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK...SO ARE YOU!!!" Bismark snapped back.

Meanwhile, Lelouch had decided to just accept his pitiful fate, and he sat down next to a rather drunken Gino Weinberg.

"Hey, Gino...wassup?" Lelouch asked.

"Meh...somethin', somethin'...dun' wanna talk 'bout it...FUDGE MONKEYS!! It's the...FRUIT OF THE LOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!" Gino mumbled, gently swaying back and forth.

"I haven't seen you much lately...things going well for you?"

"Eh? Ehh...sure...sure...yeah...whatever...BUY A PENIS IN A BUCKET, IT'S AWESOME!!! Fudgeh...bleh...heh heh heh heeeeeeeeeeeh...PASTA, IT'S NATURE'S RESOURCE!!!!"

Lelouch said nothing else; he had heard MUCH more than he needed to know.

It had been almost two hours, from the start of the trip to this point in time, that Odysseus had done nothing but read his pedophilia magazine that featured upscale porn of young children. Now, with a loli so close in the vicinity i.e. Anya, Odysseus was finally going into action!

"MY LOLI-SENSES ARE RAGING WILDLY...NO, WAIT, THAT'S JUST MY BONER!!!" Odysseus cackled, his eyes glowing bright red and drool flowing out of his mouth like crazy. Setting his sights upon Anya, who was waving a beer bottle around and saying 'LOL' over and over again under her breath, Odysseus charged straight at her.

However, when his lips were only inches away from her 'delicious flat chest', Anya smashed the beer bottle over Odysseus' head, and he lost consciousness immediately upon impact. A trail of blood rolled out of his left nostril.

"Hey, you're a child-prostitute!! YOU SICK LITTLE PERVERTED BITCH!!!" Monica Krushevsky screamed out of nowhere.

"WHAT?! NO, I'M NOT!!" Anya cried.

"OH, YEAH?!" Monica pulled out a picture of Anya being fucked by multiple faceless fat black men, "WELL...LOOK AT THIS!!!"

"OH GOD...I REALLY AM A CHILD-PROSTITUTE!!! WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY-"

Monica karate-chopped Anya in the back of the neck, which immediately knocked her out. Then, she scooped the little pink-haired slut into her arms and ran off so she could 're-educate' her.

Anyway, let's see how everyone else is doing, shall we?

After having taken an overdose of Ritalin, Euphemia seemed to have finally calmed down.

Cornelia let out a sigh of relief, and thought, 'Finally, she'll shut the hell up...and she looks so cute, too, standing by the edge of the lake and watching all the fish go by...'

Suddenly, Euphemia reached into her back pocket and unsheathed a huge machine gun, and she began firing bullets into the lake, screaming, "DIE, FISH, DIE!!!!"

"NO, EUPHIE!!! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KILL THEM LIKE THAT!!!" Cornelia cried.

Luciano Bradley, however, held out his arm to stop the purple-haired bitch from reaching her sister.

"W-What're you doing?!" Cornelia demanded to know.

Luciano turned to look at Euphemia, who was laughing insanely as she continued to blow fish out of the water, and he replied, "...I've fallen in love with her."

"...WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAT?!!!!"

"Her violent, psychopathic nature...her habit of quoting timeless classics by the greats of our nation...her need for massive quanities of Ritalin...those are all the requirements for my perfect lover..." Luciano let out a happy sigh.

Cornelia facepalmed. "You gotta be FUCKIN' me!"

"...You wanna do it, then?"

"NO!!!"

Suddenly, all of the commotion came to a complete stop as a high-pitched scream filled the air.

Charles gasped, and stood up from Bismark's violently mangled corpse. "THAT WAS...NUNNALLY!!!" he gasped, spitting a shred of Knight of One's underwear out of his mouth.

Lelouch gasped, and climbed out from underneath Gino, and quickly put back on his pants. "I MUST SAVE MY MENTALLY-RETARDED LITTLE SISTER!!!"

Gino sat up, and grumbled, "Hey...I'm just as mentally-retarded, if not MORE so..."

"I'll...uh, keep that in mind..."

The entire Britannian family quickly rushed to the origin of the screams, and found Nunnally being held tightly in the arms of the most bizarre being they had ever laid their eyes on.

He was completely nude, and had a disturbingly serious face, along with a single green leaf that stuck out of the very top of his skull. His skin was unbelievably pale, and his penis was unbelievably small. No one was sure what kind of one-liner would be good enough to match wits with such an odd creature, so everyone kept silent.

Looking back and forth wildly, the man sneered, "Well, well, well...if it ain't Jimmy Carter, Denzel Washington, Richard Nixon, Jon Omaha, Jamie Lynn Spears, Andy French, Milo Oblong, Notorious BIG, Popeye the Sailor, and Gigi D'Agonstino...are you all here to beg for my forgiveness?!!"

Lelouch raised an eyebrow. "Sir...I'd like say that I'm just a boy in drag trying to buy marijuana off my next-door neighbor's cat, but that's asking for just a bit too much, now isn't it? Look, just hand over the 'tard, and we won't have to violently dismember you...really, we won't have to...I promise..."

"NEVER!!! I LOVE RINGO STARR WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL!!!" The man cried, holding Nunnally tightly against his chest. For some reason, Nunnally seemed to not even be frightened at all. Hell, she was ASLEEP, for fuck's sake!

Lelouch scowled. "I guess...I have no other choice...but to use...IT!!!" he exclaimed.

"...You mean Geass?"

"NO...SOMETHING EVEN WORSE!!!"


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass. Nor do I own Silent Hill.

* * *

_Continuing right where it left off..._

"Before I totally obliterate you," Lelouch said, "Answer me a single question..."

The man raised a non-existent eyebrow. "What is it?"

"...Are you a Pikmin?"

"NO!!!!!"

"Very well...........................OKAY, SCHNEIZEL, DO IT NOW!!!" Lelouch ordered, turning to his older brother.

Schneizel tore open his shirt, and several blood-stained razor blades flew out of his four-pack abs. The leaf-man gasped, and tossed Nunnally into Clovis's arms, and then snatched up V.V. out of nowhere and used him as a shield.

"Oh," the man said after the blades had pierced into V.V.'s flesh, "I thought you were a plank of wood, and-"

Rolling around on the ground in immense pain, V.V. screamed, "SHIT!! SHIT!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! OH, SHIT!!!! SHIT!!! SHIT!!!! SHIT!!!! SHIT!!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!! SHIT!!!! SHIT!!!! SHIT!!!!"

"I'm...I'm really sorry-"

"SHIT!!! SHIT!!! OH, SHIT!!!! SHIT!!!! SHIT!!! SHIT!!!! SHIT!!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!! SHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!! SHIT!!!! SHIT!!! SHIT!!!"

"I-"

"SHIT!!! SHIT!!!! SHIT!!! SHIT!!! MOTHERFUCKIN' SHIT!!! SHIT!!! SHIT!!! SHIT!!!! SHIT!!!! SHIT!!! SHIT!!!! SHIT!!! SHIT!!! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!...Shit!"

While everyone was distracted, Lelouch had already begun part 2 of his 'Ultimate Attack'.

'What the hell am I supposed to do with THIS...?' Clovis wondered as he stared at the snoozing Nunnally in his arms. It was too big for a hat, and it didn't have enough hair to make a nice fur coat. What to do, what to do...hmm...

ANYWAY!!!

Glancing to the right, Charles saw his son sending a text message on his cellphone. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!!"

Lelouch smirked, and shoved his phone back into his pocket. "Oh, I was just...SUMMONING MY IMAGINARY FRIEND TO COME AND DESTROY THE ENEMY!!!"

"YOUR...YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND?!!" Charles gasped.

Suddenly, totally out of nowhere, a tall being leaped out of the lake, and landed in front of the pale leaf-headed man, who stumbled back in surprise.

"HE'S HERE!!!" Lelouch cackled, "THE IMAGINARY FRIEND WHO HAS STOOD BY MY SIDE FOR YEARS!!!"

...It was Pyramid Head, and it had cat ears and a tail.

An awkward silence thickened the tension in the air. Even V.V. had stopped screaming in agony and stared at the odd sight before him.

'It's...it's Neko-Pyramid Head...'

Neko-Pyramid Head let out a low moan and swung its huge, blood-stained knife in a circular motion. Then, it brought the heavy blade down upon the naked man's head...and he was no more. Neko-Pyramid Head roared victoriously, and tossed the corpse far off into the lake. Then, Neko-Pyramid Head slowly vanished into nothingness, its mission accomplished.

'That was...beautiful...' Bartley thought, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

Wiping the sweat from his brow, Lelouch breathed out a sigh of relief. "HAH...THAT WAS CLOSE ONE!!!"

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING!!!" Cornelia snapped at him.

Standing next to her, the naked man with the leaf nodded and said, "She's right, you know...you suck..."

Cornelia did a double-take, and everyone else cried, "WHAT THE HELL?!! YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!!!"

The naked man shrugged. "Of course. I AM a physical ghost, after all..."

"...A WHAT?!!"

"Stop yelling! Bunch of damn rednecks..." the naked man sighed and began to explain, "I'm dead, but I still have enough spiritual presence to make myself physical so that I may interact with the human world. I can't go more than 1,000 feet from the lake, however, or else my soul will fall apart..."

Lelouch scratched his chin. "I see...so, you're not a Pikmin?"

"NO!!! I ALREADY SAID I'M NOT!!!"

"Okay...............BUT I SHALL STILL DESTROY YOU WITH PART 3 OF MY 'ULTIMATE ATTACK'!!!!!" Lelouch exclaimed.

Lelouch reached into his pockets, and cackled insanely as he dug around for the weapon that would surely send this weird perverse ghost to hell and back. However...he couldn't find it. Instead, he pulled out a sticky note:

'Bosoms, Melons, Milk Factories, Busts, Funbags, Knockers, Ballistics, Boobies, Jugs, Nipples, Jubblies...STONKING...GREAT...TITS. I'm using part 3 of your 'Ultimate Attack' for personal purposes that involve about 70% of the words I had just written prior to this sentence. Love, Rolo'

A cold wind blew past.

Crushing the note in his fist, Lelouch fell to his knees, threw his head back, and screamed, "WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY?!!!"

* * *

Since the ghost, who has been named Cthulhu (much to his chagrin), couldn't be defeated, he ended up staying with the rest of the Britannian family for their fishing trip...although now it's become more of a camping trip as of late.

It was becoming dark now, and millions of tiny stars light up the night sky. Most of the Knights of the Round had already left, except for Gino and Luciano, who was still fawning over a rather agitated yet heavily medicated Euphemia.

As Charles tossed a few sticks into the fire, he turned to Bartley and grunted, "Hey...where's Cornelia with the rest of the wood?"

Bartley shrugged. "I think she got lost in the woods..."

"..."

"..."

"...I KNEW INTER-BREEDING WAS A BAD IDEA!!!" Charles exclaimed.

Leaning up against a nearby tree, Lelouch took out a scrapbook he had stolen from C.C. several days earlier.

'I wanted to bring this along to keep myself entertained, but I didn't remember about it until now...this book is full of pictures C.C. had taken throughout her life...this'll definitely be interesting...' Lelouch thought, smirking.

He opened the book and began skimming through the pages. There were photos of Mao as a shota, and of C.C. and Marianne having naked pillow fights. However, the photo that really caught Lelouch's eye also made him feel a bit...uncomfortable.

'The caption for this picture says: C.C. and Adolf-chan playing soccer in the streets of Berlin, Germany...the year is 1921. Oooooh...'

Lelouch immediately snapped the book shut and tossed it off to the side, thinking no more of it.

...And then, a rotten hand emerged from underneath the soil.

'OH...FUCK...'


	4. THE RUSHED END

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

A/N: THE FINAL CHAPTER...BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN, I'VE LOST INTEREST IN WRITING IT!!!! WHICH MEANS I'M NOT TRYING REALLY HARD IN WRITING THIS CHAPTER. Many references to earlier crack fics of mine, as well...

* * *

_When we last left off, a rotten hand had emerged from underneath the ground!!!_

'Don't tell me we have to fight zombies AGAIN!!!' Lelouch thought, cringing, 'I thought Shirlenator 9000 took care of them all already...that damn cyborg bitch is so useless...'

Suddenly, Diethard Reid emerged from underneath the soil, and tossed away the rotting hand; apparently, it was just a prop. Following close behind him was Jeremiah Gottwald and Lloyd Asplund.

Lelouch was speechless, but he quickly regained his composure. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THREE DOING HERE?!!"

Diethard made a V-sign with his fingers over his right eye, and giggled. "WE CAME TO CHECK UP ON YOU GUYS, OF COURSE!!!"

"...Seriously?"

Diethard shrugged. "Well, yeah...and Mao is chasing us with a chainsaw..."

"WHAT?!!!"

Suddenly, the spot of dirt in front of him burst high into the air, and Mao emerged, wielding a giant blood-stained chainsaw.

"I'MMA GONNA MAKE ME SOME CHILI!!!!" he cackled insanely.

Jeremiah screamed like a high-school girl on steroids a.k.a. Kallen. "RUN AWAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!"

As Lelouch watched the three grown men run off in horror, Mao chasing after them, he just sighed and thought, 'I probably watch too much of the Bill Cosby show...'

--MEANWHILE!!!!--

Luciano Bradley was desperately trying to think of a way to proclaim his feelings of love to Euphemia, who was busy stabbing herself in the stomach with a very sharp stick BECAUSE IT'S FUN.

'Hmm...there's many things I could do to tell her how I feel, but...there's just as many things she could do to show me that she's not interested!! Dear god, where are the band members of Korn and their cryptic wisdom when you need it?!!'

Suddenly, Gino Weinberg, now sober, placed his elbow on Luciano's shoulder and told him, "Listen, buddy, just go over there and ask her to fuck you...she'll say 'yes'! I promise!!"

"Really?!"

"...And if you don't like it, you can return it for your full-money back after trying it for free for the first 30 days!!"

"...Okay..."

After knocking Gino out with a punch in the face, Luciano went over and sat down beside Euphemia, who had gone pale now due to a heavy loss of blood.

Coughing into his fist, Luciano's face became as red as his hair as he exclaimed, "EUPHEMIA LI BRITANNIA...WILL YOU LET ME FUCK YOU?!!!"

Euphemia turned to look at him, and for some reason she had on a curly moustache. "ARE YOU TALKIN' TO WEEGEE?!!"

"...Uh, no..."

"THEN YOU BE TALKIN' TO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT..."

'MY GOD, THIS WOMAN IS GIVING ME A BONER...!!!' Luciano thought, his lust for Euphie growing ever greater.

--MEANWHILE!!!--

"I already said I'm sorry for using you as a shield!!" Cthulhu called up to V.V., who was hiding out on the roof of Charles' van.

V.V. stuck his tongue out at the ghost. "GO AWAY...JACKASS!!"

"It's not my fault you resembled a Hyrulian Shield!!!"

"...I'M A MIDGET, YOU MORON, NOT A FUCKIN' SHIELD!!!"

Cthulhu shrugged his shoulders. "...Coulda fooled me..."

'...Eh?' V.V. didn't get the joke...and he never will.

--MEANWHILE!!!--

"There's something...I should probably tell you all..." Clovis spoke up.

Charles glanced up. "What is it?"

"Well...I...I, uh, had a missile fired at this exact location, and we're all going to be killed...BECAUSE I'M SECRETLY SUICIDAL!!!"

Charles pulled out his pistol, and shot Clovis in the crotch several times, and then the blonde bigot crashed to the floor. Barkley screamed in horror, set himself ablaze by dropping a lighter in his pants, and then he leaped into the lake.

"...So now what do we do?" the Emperor asked his children.

Lelouch shrugged. "We could try to leave, but I doubt we'll be able to outrun the missile's explosive radius..."

"Why do you say that?"

Lelouch pointed up at the sky, and a missile was revealed to be only a few feet over their heads now. "IT'S ALREADY HERE."

Charles scowled; those damn feds were always doing SOMETHING to ruin his day! "...Fuck..."

"WAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHH!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!!!" Nunnally shrieked, but Lelouch silenced her with a powerful jab to the stomach.

"We can't just sit here and die!!" Odysseus cried.

"Why not?" Schneizel asked with a bored expression, "We're all gonna die at some point..."

"YEAH, BUT IF WE DIE...THEN THE SHOW ENDS, TOO!!!"

Lelouch gasped. "THEN...WE MUST LIVE!!!! LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE...NOW!!!"

"BUT, WE CAN'T!!! THE MISSILE WILL HIT THE GROUND SOON!! WHAT DO WE DO?!!!" Charles exclaimed.

Suddenly, a figure burst out of the bushes nearby...it was Cornelia, except now she was completely naked and had a wild look in her eyes.

A big grin broke out on Lelouch's lips.

"ME CORNELIA...ME STOP BIG BOOM!!!" Cornelia proclaimed bravely in a thick accent.

"...You forgot how to speak properly after being lost in the woods for a single hour...?" Schneizel asked in disbelief.

"Don't question fate, m'boy!!" Charles berated his son.

Leaping high into the air, Cornelia latched onto the missile, and began to tear into it with her bare hands. She smashed her head through the metallic skin of the nuclear weapon, and climbed inside. Lelouch, Charles and the others watched with bated breath, praying with all their hearts that Cornelia will succeed in doing whatever the hell she was trying to do.

'...WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT I'M READING?' V.V. wondered, looking through one of Schneizel's many fanfics he kept in the backseat of the car.

Suddenly, Cornelia popped her head out of the hole, and exclaimed, "CORNELIA DONE IT!! CORNELIA DISARM BIG BOOM!!!"

Lelouch went 'W00T' and cried, "YEAH!!! SHE DID IT!!!"

However, everyone had apparently forgotten Euphemia, who raised her machine gun, and laughing like the psychotic ditz she was, fired a bullet right into the missile...

...and it exploded, taking everything with it, and leaving just a mushroom cloud in its wake...

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"AAAAHHH!!!"

Kaname Ohgi sat up in bed, breathing heavily and his eyes wide.

'What...what the hell did I just dream? WHO THE FUCK WERE MOST OF THOSE PEOPLE?!!' he wondered to himself.

Flipping over in the bed to face him, Viletta yawned and mumbled, "What's wrong, honey? Have another night terror...?"

Kaname shook his head. "N...No, I'm fine...I just had a weird dream, that's all..."

"Well...go back to sleep, then..."

"Yes...yes, I will..."

Giving his beloved wife a small kiss on the forehead, Kaname buried himself within the covers and drifted off back to sleep...


End file.
